after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
