never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize