We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
