You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
