There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
