I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
