Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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