ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
