is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
