dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
