i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
