i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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