I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
