you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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