I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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