absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
