come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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