Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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