just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
