no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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