If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
