why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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