Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
