she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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