Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
