Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
