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So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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