I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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