it hurts more in the daytime
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
