I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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