Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
