you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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