you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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