Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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