...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
