this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
