i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
