I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She's the barista slut.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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