I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
