If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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