I wanna passion pit in your ass
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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