You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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