ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
