isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
