his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
