Buhtt sex?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
