# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
