So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
