I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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