I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
