So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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