I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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