Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize