i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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