yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
