I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
