yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
