I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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