So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
