I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
