He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
