The maid of honor just puked.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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