i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
