counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I will pee on everything he values.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
sex in a hospital.. check
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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