she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize