Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
